![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Growing up..?
Feb. 29th, 2004 12:41 amI find myself drawn back to the pages less and less. Does that mean I'm growing up? Or just growing away? Either way, I don't know. I've been hanging around xanga a lot more, maybe because most of my IRL friends are on it.
Last night, some random guy IMed and he was like "I know you.." And his name did seem familiar and he asked me about some of the people I used to hang out with, and a flood of memories erupted in my mind.
Those days of random Gundam RP, the Black Ribbon group, the love, the pain, the sadness. It seems like it was ages ago.
I've become a different person from what I was. I'm hoping a better person, but I doubt it. I hate one of my friend's boyfriends with such a passion, it consumes me. I would do anything to seperate her from such a being, and it scares me. This person.. is dangerous, in my opinion. He has torn my best friend apart, and has no respect for me in turn. I would like nothing more to find him on the street, beat him senseless, and run him over repeatedly. Does that mean I'm a bad person?
I don't know very much anymore. I feel like I'm reverting back to the loner I was in 6th grade. I was a quiet person, but I had my friends. I thought everything was right in the world. I was wearing rose-colored glasses. My "best friend" Stephanie tore those off and stomped them underneath her feet, then came back and took my heart with her. She cast me out in the dirt, to go on to more "popular" people. I was forced to find new people to hang out. I couldn't stay with the people that I'd been with for about 6 six years. I found Jessica, and she was my friend, but she had other people. I needed someone to cling to, and I couldn't really find anyone like that. When I discovered chat, and Trinnie, Nina, Rel, Ali, Diego.. I found the ones I could cling to, while I established myself. And I did.. but I still miss those days.
I wish I could tell my friend that before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy by yourself. I wish she believed that. I wish I believed that.
I'm scared.
-Tahiti
Last night, some random guy IMed and he was like "I know you.." And his name did seem familiar and he asked me about some of the people I used to hang out with, and a flood of memories erupted in my mind.
Those days of random Gundam RP, the Black Ribbon group, the love, the pain, the sadness. It seems like it was ages ago.
I've become a different person from what I was. I'm hoping a better person, but I doubt it. I hate one of my friend's boyfriends with such a passion, it consumes me. I would do anything to seperate her from such a being, and it scares me. This person.. is dangerous, in my opinion. He has torn my best friend apart, and has no respect for me in turn. I would like nothing more to find him on the street, beat him senseless, and run him over repeatedly. Does that mean I'm a bad person?
I don't know very much anymore. I feel like I'm reverting back to the loner I was in 6th grade. I was a quiet person, but I had my friends. I thought everything was right in the world. I was wearing rose-colored glasses. My "best friend" Stephanie tore those off and stomped them underneath her feet, then came back and took my heart with her. She cast me out in the dirt, to go on to more "popular" people. I was forced to find new people to hang out. I couldn't stay with the people that I'd been with for about 6 six years. I found Jessica, and she was my friend, but she had other people. I needed someone to cling to, and I couldn't really find anyone like that. When I discovered chat, and Trinnie, Nina, Rel, Ali, Diego.. I found the ones I could cling to, while I established myself. And I did.. but I still miss those days.
I wish I could tell my friend that before you can be happy with someone else, you have to be happy by yourself. I wish she believed that. I wish I believed that.
I'm scared.
-Tahiti
