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Hey everyone.. just got home from my friend's grandparents's house. My weekend was okay but.. there was this one part that made me so happy but then so unhappy at the same time..
I'm sure all of the "Clique" remembers Ruri, aka Matt. For those who don't, he was my boyfriend about.. 1 and a half to 2 years ago. Well.. recently , I started talking to him.. And one day, the same day he told me he had a girlfriend, I realized that I still had feelings for him. So yeah.. and I talked to Aimee about it and she was like.. well, just tell him, and if he says that there's nothing there.. then you'll have it off your shoulders and you can get over him. And so.. I did. I made him listen to Simple Plan's "I'd Do Anything" and told him that I still had feelings for him. We talked for a bit, and he revealed some very sad things that made a lot of sense to me. But then, my friend's computer was fucking up.. so she gave me her cell phone, and he called me. It was nice hearing his voice. We talked for about two hours.. and he finally told me.. "I'm still in love with you." I wanted to jump for joy, but he told me that he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend. He said he would be at my side.. but.. I told him "It's not the same as you being with me." I feel so happy that he said that he still loved me.. but still. I can't be with him, and that tears me apart. Jealousy surges through me and ARGH.. it hurts.. So yes.. that's what's going on. It's just so hard to keep my smile on my face.. and I just want to break down and cry.. It hurts so much..
-Thal
I'm sure all of the "Clique" remembers Ruri, aka Matt. For those who don't, he was my boyfriend about.. 1 and a half to 2 years ago. Well.. recently , I started talking to him.. And one day, the same day he told me he had a girlfriend, I realized that I still had feelings for him. So yeah.. and I talked to Aimee about it and she was like.. well, just tell him, and if he says that there's nothing there.. then you'll have it off your shoulders and you can get over him. And so.. I did. I made him listen to Simple Plan's "I'd Do Anything" and told him that I still had feelings for him. We talked for a bit, and he revealed some very sad things that made a lot of sense to me. But then, my friend's computer was fucking up.. so she gave me her cell phone, and he called me. It was nice hearing his voice. We talked for about two hours.. and he finally told me.. "I'm still in love with you." I wanted to jump for joy, but he told me that he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend. He said he would be at my side.. but.. I told him "It's not the same as you being with me." I feel so happy that he said that he still loved me.. but still. I can't be with him, and that tears me apart. Jealousy surges through me and ARGH.. it hurts.. So yes.. that's what's going on. It's just so hard to keep my smile on my face.. and I just want to break down and cry.. It hurts so much..
-Thal
